What lateness reveals about conflict styles: encountering vs retreating.

Title: Two Ways to Handle a Snag on the Deck: Encountering and Retreating in NJROTC Leadership

If you’re part of the LMHS NJROTC Academic Team or you’ve just joined a young unit that moves fast, you’ll notice something surprising about leadership: trouble doesn’t wait for a perfect moment. It shows up in the form of a late arrival, a miscommunication, or a snag in the plan right when momentum matters most. The key isn’t pretending nothing happened. It’s knowing which move to make when you’re staring down a conflict or a hurdle. That’s where the idea of encountering versus retreating comes into play.

Let me explain the idea in plain terms. In conflict-resolution thinking, two broad approaches get bandied about. One is about facing the issue head-on—calling it out, addressing it, and trying to fix it as directly as possible. The other is more about stepping back, buying time, or rerouting to keep relationships intact and goals on track. In the clean, classroom-friendly terms you’ll see on the LMHS NJROTC Academic Team, you’ve got “encountering” and “retreating.” They aren’t opposites in a fight; they’re tools for different kinds of pressure.

Two tools, one mission: facing versus maneuvering

• Encountering: This is the approach of meeting the conflict or obstacle in the open. It means naming the issue, assessing options, and taking action to resolve it. In a drill, that might be adjusting a timeline, clarifying orders, or proposing a concrete plan to overcome a snag together with the team. It’s the “we’ll fix this together” stance—direct, collaborative, and purpose-driven.

• Retreating: This is the approach of stepping back to avoid escalating a problem or to protect the team’s cohesion while you work through a solution. Retreating isn’t about dodging responsibility; it’s about choosing a course that prevents harm to people or mission when a straight, immediate fix isn’t clear or feasible. It’s a tactical pause that buys you time to regroup, rethink, and re-engage once the environment is safer for action.

Now, a quick reality check with a relatable scenario

You’re new to a team, and you’ve got two first meetings under your belt when you’re 15 minutes late both times. Car trouble happened, you switched to the bus, and you arrived with a story that sounds perfectly reasonable—on the surface. In the moment, what did your decision represent? It’s tempting to label the behavior as simply “being late.” But in conflict-resolution terms, there’s a deeper pattern at play: how you handle the friction between your personal constraint (the ride) and your team’s needs (getting to meetings on time and ready to contribute).

In the language of the two-method framework, this is a situation where the team’s best response might involve both encountering and retreating, depending on the angle you take. Here’s the nuance that often gets glossed over in quick summaries:

• You encountered the obstacle: a delay that could derail your commitments and ripple through the group’s plans. You didn’t ignore it; you acknowledged it by choosing a fallback (the bus) rather than simply missing the meetings.

• You retreated from forcing a single rigid solution: you didn’t fight the schedule or demand a different rule right away. You stepped back to preserve relationships, maintain safety, and reduce friction while you figure out a long-term fix—like adjusting your commute plan, communicating proactively, and showing up as soon as possible.

Notice how this matters? It’s not just about being on time or late. It’s about how you manage the conflict between personal constraints and team expectations, without burning bridges or derailing momentum. The “encountering / retreating” pairing helps you name that balance clearly: you face the obstacle, then you choose a considerate, adaptive course to keep your squad moving forward.

A practical lens: what this pair teaches a student leader

In a NJROTC setting, leadership isn’t about perfect timing; it’s about practical judgment under pressure. Here’s how the encountering/retreating lens translates into real-life choices you’ll see or make:

• When to encounter: If the problem is within your control and solvable through quick, shared action, you should engage directly. For example, if you realize you’ll be late, you can immediately message the team, propose a plan for catching up, or adjust your route so you can participate sooner rather than later. This is the moment to use clarity, seek input, and act decisively.

• When to retreat: If the conflict risks causing harm—like spreading confusion, undermining safety, or triggering a toxic dynamic—pull back from forcing a single solution. Instead, you create space, gather facts, and establish a revised approach. In practice, that might mean stepping back from a strict in-person deadline and suggesting alternative roles or tasks you can tackle remotely, or coordinating a rescheduled briefing so the group isn’t left hanging.

• The middle ground matters: Rarely do you have to choose a single button—encountering or retreating—as if they’re mutually exclusive. The most effective teams blend both. You encounter the obstacle, then retreat just enough to preserve trust and momentum, before re-engaging with a more informed plan.

How this plays out in the LMHS NJROTC environment

Think about the cadence of drills, briefings, and post-activity reflections. The best teams are built on transparent communication and reliable adaptability. A few practical takeaways:

• Communicate early and often: If something might throw off your attendance or your assigned role, say so. Quick, honest updates reduce the chance of misinterpretation and show you’re taking responsibility seriously. That’s the encounter piece in action.

• Offer and pursue a repair plan: Don’t just report a problem—propose a remedy. If you’re late, suggest how you’ll catch up, what you’ll contribute upon arrival, or how you’ll make sure your absence doesn’t stall the group. This cements your role as a proactive member who can still contribute despite a snag.

• Protect the team’s cohesion: There are moments when the right move is to step back from a rigid expectation to keep everyone’s morale intact. If the schedule becomes a bottleneck or a source of stress, a well-timed retreat—like adjusting expectations for the day or redistributing tasks—can be the kindest, most effective move.

• Learn from the moment: After the fact, reflect as a team on what worked and what didn’t. Did the early communication help? Was the fallback plan sufficient? This reflective practice—without blame—turns a single late arrival into a learning moment that strengthens the squad for the next time.

A quick, memorable framework you can carry forward

• Name the obstacle (encountering what’s happening).

• Decide whether a direct fix is possible (engage) or whether a short pause is wiser (retreat).

• Act with clarity, always circling back to the team’s goals.

• Review and refine to close the loop.

That last piece is where leadership really shows up. It’s not about pretending you never stumble. It’s about how you recover, communicate, and adjust—together.

Digressions that connect (and return)

If you’ve ever watched a ship’s crew in a movie, you’ve seen the same rhythm in action. When the wind shifts, the captain doesn’t pretend the weather will cooperate. They assess, decide, and adjust the course. The crew understands that sometimes the best move is dancing with the wind rather than fighting it head-on. The LMHS NJROTC environment trains you to read those currents—whether you’re navigating a drill sequence, coordinating a liaison with another unit, or simply coordinating a time and place for a post-lesson briefing.

And yes, it’s a little human to sweat the small stuff. We all know the feeling of wanting to sprint to the finish line, only to realize the path is blocked. The art here isn’t in being flawless; it’s in staying steady, communicating honestly, and choosing the course that keeps the team intact and moving. That’s a real-world skill that travels beyond the drill deck.

A glance at the psychology behind the move

Conflict resolution isn’t just about tactics; it’s about trust and reliability. When you choose to encounter obstacles, you demonstrate that you’re willing to face consequences, own up to missteps, and seek solutions with your peers. When you choose to retreat appropriately, you protect relationships and avoid unnecessary escalation, showing you can prioritize the group’s health over a stubborn timetable. In the long run, that balance is what makes any team resilient—whether you’re in a classroom, a drill hall, or a competition against rival units.

Closing thought: bring both tools to your leadership toolbox

The encounter/retreat duo isn’t a rigid rulebook. It’s a language that lets you describe your approach to a moment with precision. In the LMHS NJROTC Academic Team world, using both tools well signals maturity, responsibility, and cooperative spirit. You’re not stuck in one mode; you’re equipped to adapt to the situation, keep lines of communication open, and steer the group toward its goals without drama.

If you’re new to the team or stepping into your first leadership role, carry this mindset with you: when you face a snag, name it honestly; when it’s wise to pull back, do so with intention; and when you re-engage, bring a clear plan that reflects your team’s shared purpose. Those are the marks of a captain who earns trust, a mentor who inspires, and a squad that learns together—on time or not, as the wind allows, moving forward with purpose.

One last thought to keep you grounded: leadership isn’t about never messing up. It’s about how you respond when you do, and how you help others respond too. In the end, the right move isn’t a single choice; it’s a pattern of choosing to encounter the issue with accountability, while retreating thoughtfully to protect the team as you work toward a solid, shared solution. That’s the spirit you’ll carry into every line of duty, every drill, and every challenge the LMHS NJROTC Academic Team encounters together.