Leaders listen best when they stay present, ask clarifying questions, and avoid predicting the speaker’s point.

Listening Like a Leader: Why Anticipating the Story Point Hurts

Leadership isn’t just about giving orders or making decisions from the top down. It’s about what happens in the moment you sit with a subordinate and really hear them. In the LMHS NJROTC world, where teamwork, discipline, and clear communication are the gears that keep the machine running, listening well is a skill that can make or break a mission—whether that mission is a drill, a group project, or a classroom discussion.

Think about a scene you’ve likely seen in training or in cadet life: a junior sailor shares a challenge they’re facing, eyes wide, hands moving as they map out their thoughts. Now imagine the leader nodding, but not really hearing. Maybe the leader starts to anticipate the punchline, or what the speaker will say next, rather than letting the speaker finish. If you’ve been there, you know it doesn’t feel great. You feel rushed, overlooked, and a little discouraged. That feeling isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a signal that something important is off: the listener isn’t fully present.

The question at the heart of good listening is simple, but it’s powerful: which action is NOT something a leader should do when listening to a subordinate? The options look like this:

• A. Anticipate the point of the story

• B. Ask questions for clarity

• C. Stop working

• D. Avoid telling the speaker of your “better” experiences

The correct answer is A: Anticipating the point of the story. It’s a subtle habit, but it pulls your attention away from the speaker and the content they’re delivering. When you try to predict what someone will say, you’re effectively stepping out of the speaker’s shoes and into your own head. That detour can lead to misunderstandings, missed details, and a sense that the conversation isn’t a two-way exchange so much as a performance you’re critiquing in real time.

Let me explain why the other options actually help a leader listen well.

Why B, C, and D matter

• B. Ask questions for clarity

When you ask thoughtful, targeted questions, you show you’re engaged. Questions signal curiosity, not criticism, and they help uncover the full story. They prevent fuzzy takeaways and keep both parties aligned. In a military-structured setting like NJROTC, where precision matters, questions are a safety net that catches potential gaps before they grow.

• C. Stop working

If the leader is juggling a dozen tasks while someone is talking, it can feel like the speaker isn’t worth the interruption. Halting other work during a conversation communicates respect and value. It gives the subordinate space to express themselves fully and signals that their message deserves your full attention in that moment.

• D. Avoid telling the speaker of your “better” experiences

Cadet life is full of shared experiences—stories that carry hard-won lessons. But when a leader immediately uses their own experiences to supersede what the speaker is saying, the listening moment becomes a podium moment instead of a dialogue. By resisting the urge to steer the conversation toward your own past stories, you help the subordinate feel heard for what they’re bringing to the table right now. That fosters trust and openness, which are essential for any team to grow together.

A practical listening mindset you can actually use

Let’s put these ideas into a simple, doable framework. It’s not a rigid checklist; it’s more like a mental model you can carry through any conversation.

• Be present. Before you start listening, switch off distractions. Put the phone aside, turn your body toward the speaker, and maintain eye contact. Tiny adjustments—like nodding at the right moments or leaning slightly forward—signal you’re in this together.

• Let them finish. It’s tempting to jump in with a quick solution, but the real value comes from hearing the entire message. Let the speaker complete their thoughts, even if you already have a sense of where the story is headed.

• Paraphrase and reflect. After they’ve spoken, try a quick restatement in your own words. “So what you’re saying is…” This step confirms you understood correctly and gives the speaker a chance to correct any misinterpretations.

• Ask clarifying questions. If something isn’t crystal clear, pose a probing question that invites elaboration. Keep the tone respectful and collaborative, not combative.

• Summarize the next steps. End the conversation with a clear, shared understanding of what happens next. A simple, “We’ll do X and Y by Z date” can prevent future mix-ups.

• Check your body language. A calm posture, open palms, and a steady voice help create a safe space for the subordinate to share more honestly.

Bringing this to life in LMHS NJROTC

In the NJROTC environment, leadership isn’t just about command—it's about guiding, listening, and learning together. When cadets take the floor in a group discussion, or when a junior team member reports a snag in a drill, the leader’s listening chops are what keeps the team cohesive.

• Drills and routines require precise feedback loops. A leader who listens well can pick up on subtle cues—tired eyes, uneven lines, a note of hesitation—that might indicate a problem. They can ask a clarifying question, not to twist the story, but to ensure everyone is marching toward the same standard.

• Academic teamwork benefits from inclusive dialogue. In study sessions or project planning, a listening-first approach invites quieter cadets to share ideas. The result is richer collaboration, where decisions aren’t made by the loudest voice but by the best-supported one.

• The chain of command thrives on trust. If team members believe their input is truly heard, they’re more willing to contribute. Trust reduces friction and speeds up problem solving, which matters during competitions, community events, or any scenario where precision and cooperation collide.

Common traps that derail listening (and how to dodge them)

• The anticipator’s trap. It’s tempting to try to forecast the end of a story, especially when you’re short on time or when you think you know what’s coming. But anticipation is a quiet saboteur. It short-circuits curiosity and mutters, “I’ve heard this before,” even if the speaker isn’t done.

• The rescue always mode. Some leaders jump in to “save” the speaker by offering a solution before the full picture is on the table. This can shut down a cadet’s confidence and clamp down on creative thinking.

• The story hijacker. It’s easy to drift into your own memories and experiences. While your past can be a rich resource, make space for the speaker to finish. The moment you pivot to “my time,” you’re really signaling that you value your version of the story more than theirs.

How often do you practice listening like this?

Good listening isn’t a one-off move; it’s a habit you cultivate. Like any skill in the NJROTC toolkit, it grows with steady, intentional use. You’ll notice small wins—fewer misunderstandings, quicker alignment on tasks, more confident cadets stepping into leadership roles.

If you’re curious about your own listening style, try a quick self-check after conversations:

• Did I interrupt or let them finish?

• Did I ask a clarifying question or assume what they meant?

• Did I summarize the key point before proposing a plan?

• Was my body language welcoming and attentive?

The answers won’t just improve conversations; they’ll shape how you lead.

A few more thoughts to keep in mind

• Listening is a two-way street. You’re not just receiving information; you’re showing you’re with them in the moment. That presence creates a rhythm where ideas flow more freely.

• Emotions matter, but they don’t own the floor. You’ll hear energy, frustration, or excitement. Acknowledge it briefly, then steer back to understanding the content.

• Leadership happens in small moments. A simple nod, a well-placed question, a pause before responding—these micro-actions accumulate into a larger bias: your team knows you’re in their corner.

If you’re gearing up for a leadership role in the LMHS NJROTC program, remember this: the strongest leaders aren’t the loudest ones in the room. They’re the ones who listen with intention, who stay present, and who respond in a way that helps everyone rise to the moment.

A closing thought

So, when the next subordinate speaks, resist the urge to predict where the story is headed. Sit with the words in front of you, ask a clarifying question if needed, and let the speaker finish. You’ll find that listening with focus doesn’t just improve a single conversation—it strengthens the entire team. And in a setting that values discipline, teamwork, and service, that skill is truly worth carrying into every drill, every discussion, and every day in the NJROTC program.